‘My body is on fire!’: my perilous, painful, perfect month of pilates

A growing number of men, including singers Shaggy and Harry Styles, are taking up pilates. When I realised I could no longer touch my toes, I decided to try it out I realised something needed to change when I nearly toppled over trying to tie my shoelaces.

I was on a busy high street, with people rushing past holding shopping bags, when I saw my open shoelace spooled on the ground. I bent down to deal with it and felt gravity move against me. Only a quick flail of my arms stopped me from faceplanting. When I raised myself back upright, I felt a sharp pain in my lower back. This can’t be right, I thought. Bracing my foot on a bin to finally fix my shoelace, it dawned on me. I’d become rusty. My…