Ablakwa and the Evacuation of the Unborn

By Jimmy Aglah Once upon a time in the Republic of Uncommon Sense, our commitment to future generations became so impressive that we began evacuating citizens before they were born. Other countries were making plans for 2034 and 2036. We were already bringing their inhabitants home from South Africa. For years, politicians had been accused of doing nothing for the unborn. Here, at last, was documentary evidence that the unborn had benefited from foreign policy. Somewhere, a couple yet to meet could apparently rest assured that their future child had already escaped xenophobia. Then the Ghana High Commission in Pretoria arrived with an explanation and spoilt a perfectly good national miracle. Passport expiry dates had been entered as dates of birth in records affecting 15 evacuees.

The mission accepted responsibility, supplied corrections and maintained that the people concerned were genuine passengers who had received their allowances. The Republic had rescued human beings after all; it was the spreadsheet that had travelled into the future. A clerical error, certainly. Those who have never attached the wrong document to an email may cast the first keyboard. Nevertheless, when a public record gives a grown person several years to wait before being born, somebody should notice before the document leaves the office. The elder who inspects the cooking pot does not wait for the soup to reach the funeral before discovering that the salt container fell inside. The underlying operation deserved better paperwork. According to government, 1,964 Ghanaians were brought home between 27 May and 4 September 2026 following xenophobic violence and intimidation in South Africa, at a reported cost of GH¢49. 72 million. For families waiting anxiously for their relatives, an aircraft…